God is my Victory, and He is Here

Everybody has something that move them a certain way, and mine; like many others, is music.  When I hear a certain song, or think and reflect on the lyrics it has a way of moving my soul.  God knows this about me, and tonight when I was thinking about all of the bad things that are going on my life he put this song in my head.  One that I just learned a few months ago for worship team, but one that I had fallen in love with.  The song just stuck in my head and I knew that I had to go listen to it.

So I laid down on my bed with my Bible and my ipod, ready to listen to it while I did my devotional reading.  But as the song began playing, I just closed my eyes and laid my head in my hands and listened to the words that were pouring into me. 

This is my prayer in the Desert
when all thats within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
my God is the God who provides

This is what was on my heart tonight, and for along while previously.  I have many things in my life that I wish were happening and going, but yet I feel like nothing is moving along.  And I sit and I dwell on these things and I feel like my life is somehow incomplete, or my life is somehow not good enough until these things start to happen.  In my mind, nothing is well until I get what I feel I need.  And yet somehow, even when God gives me some of the desires that I long for, there is still a long grocery list there for me to count off from.

Then, the bridge of the song came on.  And I knew these words were for me:

all of my life, in every season, you are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship

Over and over again I heard them singing those words and I realized just how selfish I was being.

Yes, I may not have a job, I may be single and getting nowhere nearer to my dream of being married, I may feel far from home, I may feel alone sometimes, but there are still things to praise about.  I have a suite full of amazing God-fearing women who are inspiring me and moving me to be the woman of God that I know I can be.  I am at a school where I can feel God moving in my life more than ever, I have food to eat, I am getting a fantastic education, I live in a country where I won't be killed for my faith, I'm getting plugged in at an amazing church, and I'm getting involved in an awesome ministry... On and on and on the list goes.  In EVERY season, HE is still GOD.  That doesn't change because you have a bad day, or because things don't go your way.  There are so many other amazing things that God has done and is doing in my life, and all I can focus on is what isn't happening.

Phillipians 4:8 says this "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things"

I love the Lord my God with all of my heart, and I know that he has this amazing plan for me.  My God is the God who provides, and He has provided abundantly for me.  My fears about tomorrow shouldn't stand in the way of my praise today.

I love what Pastor Jason Burns said at Access on Sunday
                     "What you fear, sets the boundaries for your freedom."

All I know is that I want complete and total freedom in my Father, and that can only be done by giving up my fears and anxieties of what I think I need and giving it up to him.

Phillipians 4:5-6 "The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

I will bring praise, I will bring praise, no weapon formed against me shall remain, I will rejoice, I will declare, God is my victory and HE IS HERE