Take me where You please

And these three remain

FAITH
     HOPE
       and LOVE.

I am a hard headed person.  And I know that it takes a lot to get through to me.  A LOT.  Because when I want something, I want it.  I'll stop at nothing until I've reached my goal.  And I do this thing, where I put all of these stipulations on my life.  I want this, and I'm going to do that.  This is how my life is going to be.  And God says, no. 

Proverbs 16: 9
       In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

I'm sitting here telling God (and do you realize how not smart it is, when you are telling the almighty God something) the way I want my life to go.  I'm demanding this and saying that I need this.  I'm saying that come four years down the road, this is where my life will be.  And God is just sitting there shaking his head at me.

HE made me.  HE has a plan for me.  But my thick head can't comprehend that.  Which is why God has to break me.  Utterly and completely break me, before I listen.  And so he has.

Sitting at renew on Tuesday I could feel His presence.  It was one of those worship times where instead of singing and shouting his praise, I felt like I was supposed to sit back and enstill myself in the presence of the Lord.  So I laid my head back against the wall, closed my eyes and let the glory of my Father wash over me.  I didn't know this then, but I realize now that He was preparing my heart.  I've had a lot running through my mind lately and its hard for me to push it all out while listening to sermons.  But during this praise and worship time I could just feel my mind being washed and becoming an empty slate for God to write His words on.  So by the end of worship time my heart was ready to get completely wrecked by God.

Chris Owen comes up, and starts talking about Charath.  And charath means to be cut down to size.  He spoke on the story of Elijah and all that he had to go through before he was at the place that God wanted him to be.  I think one of my favorite things that he said was, "Sometimes God will dry up the rivers in your life in order to get you to move somewhere else."  But throughout this sermon I knew it was me.  I knew that God wanted me to hear this.  And it wasn't any specific thing that he had said, or a certain emotion that I felt, I think it was just the state of my heart; but leaving the coffee shop all I felt like doing was crying.  I just felt like sitting down and balling my eyes out.

What I realize is this:

My life is not my own.  I was made for a purpose, and I was made with a plan.  I'm holding onto the rope of my life so tightly that I'm leaving no room for God to place His hands and take over.  All I keep saying is, its mine, its mine, its mine when God is telling me to give it to Him and He'll take care of it all.  So, here it is.  I'm giving it up, and laying it down.  My life is yours, take me where you please.


I'll leave you with some songs that God has been putting on my heart:

Your thoughts are higher than mine.  Your words are deeper than mine.  Your love is stronger than mine.  This is no sacrifice, here's my life.

Your will above all else, still my purpose remains.  The art of losing myself in bringing you praise.  My heart and my soul Lord I give you control, consume me from the inside out.