Beautifully Waiting

I don't usually do two posts in one day, but how I left the other post ending I would like to revisit that.

               "My head is spinning in circles right now"

After that I decided that I would sit down and write for awhile.  Then I was just looking around Facebook for awhile and I could feel something pulling at me.  My head was still spinning in circles and I wanted in to end.  And I sat there for a minute, and something told me to get my Bible out and read.  Now, some of you may be under the impression that I am some sort of holy roller, but let me tell you, it is hard for me to read my Bible.  I love reading it, but its a fight for me to just pick it up and read it.

So something told me to read my Bible and turn on my Worship Music playlist.  And I said No.  Just plainly and simply.  I said, no I don't want to do that God.  I don't feel like reading my Bible right now.  I don't feel like trying to connect because I am just swimming in my thoughts, and there is no room in there for anything else.

But luckily, my God is a gracious God, and he simply prodded my heart again telling me that I needed to read.  So I gave in switched over my itunes, and grabbed my Bible off of the shelf.  I didn't know what I wanted to read, so I opened it up and began flipping.  I've been thinking a lot about love lately and that is what popped in my head, and I know that 1 Corinithians 13 is the love chapter in the Bible.  I have read this chapter oh, about 50 times, but I felt like I could use a little refresher on love, so thats where I turned first.

And once I get into it this pops out at me:
                 Love is patient.

Oh thanks God.  Thanks for that little jab.  Because I have not been patient.  God revealed to me that he has a plan for me, and that he has wonderful things in store for me.  And I am stubborn.  I want to know now.  I want to try and figure out God's plan and help it along.  But as I read later on, in Ecclesiastes 3:7 - There is a time to be silent and a time to speak.  This is not my job, this is not my plan.  I don't need to help anything along.  I just need to follow God, and if I'm in his will then what HE wants to happen will happen.

Then a little later: "Love trusts, always hopes, always perserveres."  Trust me.  Trust me.  Trust ME.  "Love NEVER fails".  I never fail.  I will give you an unfallible love that will be more than you can imagine.

After this I am still struggling.  I love God.  I truly do.  I want to trust.  I want to completely entrust my heart in his hands.  But there is something holding me back.  Theres this little, what if what if going on in the back of my head.  What if I can make this happen?  What if I did this, then I could get what I want?  But then God throws this passage of scripture in my face, knowing just what I need.

Ecclesiastes 3:1
     There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.

HIS timing.  HIS plan.  HE knows.

Then on my playlist, the song 'Worship while I'm waiting' comes on.  And I just sit there for a minute and I know that it is not a coincidence. 


I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

It was everything that God was trying to tell me.  You see I had begged and begged, and God finally revealed to me about his plan.  But instead of following whole-heartedly after him, I began following this plan, and this dream.  And God had to bring me back to my knees to make me remember.  Its because of Him that this is all going to happen. 

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait

So God comes full circle again and moves in my life.  When I let things enroach, he totally pulls me back into his arms and loves me anyways.  So for now I am trying to let go.  I am trying to forget it all and focus on the one who is going to make it happen.  I am waiting.  More than that, I am beautifully waiting, and enjoying keeping my eyes on the father while I let him work in my life.

Ecc. 3:11 He has made everything beautiful in his time.