Egypt

Today at Daycare when it was movie time, I decided to put in Prince of Egypt.  Now I love childrens movies, but I'm mainly a Disney fan, so I don't really watch this stuff much.  Also because a lot of the childrens movies for church are really corny; no offense God.

I remember sitting in that Childrens Church room with the cartoon characters playing on the screen.  There was the tan man in sandals with brown long hair and a beard that played Jesus, and they always played out the Bible stories and everything was honky-dory.  We would watch the movies and think 'oh yay Jesus'  I never thought more of it than that and to be honest with you, I haven't watched a Christian Childrens movies since back in my Kids church days.

So today while this movie is playing I'm getting really interested in it.  This is one of those times where I'm laying on my stomach next to all the kids and shushing every two seconds so I can hear what is being said.  I was that into this movie.  Most of you know the story line: Moses hears from God to let his people go, and God tells Moses that he will lead him through it and He does.  It's a simple Bible story that you learn in Sunday School while you are young, and I've known it pretty much my whole life.

But today while I was watching this movie that I haven't seen in probably eight or nine years, I saw it in a whole new light.  Not like the story had changed, or that I had some miraculous realization about it.  But I just really saw how truely amazing God is.  How he gives you a plan for your life and helps you to accomplish that plans.  I mean, he did day after day of miracles to get these Hebrews out of Egypt.  Things that are totally unexplainable and unreal.  He can do whatever he wants if He wants to do it.

Now I don't claim to know everything there is to know about religion and about my God.  I do the best that I can and try to understand the most that my simple young mind can.  I don't have all the answers for you, and I have had my doubts.  God is working on my heart through that and I have come to the slow realization that that is why we call it faith. 

In my humanities class my teacher gave us a quote that I quickly came to dispise.  It was something like this:
              'Faith which does not doubt is dead faith'
And at first I thought this was some religous quote and I got excited but then I read it again, and I realized what this person (Unamano I think it was) was saying.  That in order to have true faith, you must doubt it.  And then I take my test, and on there is a justifiable true or false section.  And I come across the question:  What Unamano said is true in my life.

True, or False.

My answer was as follows:
False.  This is false in my life because I am a woman of faith.  I don't believe much in religion, and all the old time things of it, but what I believe in is my relationship with God.  I have faith in Him.  And I have doubted before, but I do not see my doubts as justified nor necessary.  Faith does not come from finding the truth through your doubts, faith is believing with your mind and trusting with your heart.

And to tell you the truth, I don't care if I get a zero on that question or not.  I think I very well justified why that was totally and utterly false.  You see, its hard for us as human beings to just take everything for fact.  And it is hard for me to understand why things happen the way they do, and why certain things are the way they are.  I am all about answers and all about finding out the why.  And when I could not understand, I began to pull away.

Thats when God stepped in and told me how it is.  (I've realized that God likes to tell me off a lot, and I'm thinking that maybe thats the only way I learn and listen from Him)  But he told me that He is greater than me.  And that is why I do not understand.  If I did understand than that means that my God is on the same level as me.  And I don't know about you, but I sure as heck want a God who is so far above and beyond me.  So he told me that I need to put my faith in him.  Stop seeking answers, and instead seek knowledge in Him.  And from then on, my heart has been at peace and I've been able to love and serve God without that hinderance.

I'm not quite sure how I got from the prince of Egypt to here.  But I will say this:  I am Moses.  And life is my Egypt.  God has given me this to conquer and I know that He will reach his hand down and stir things around when need be.  And for that, I stand amazed.