Money

Money, money, money.  It makes the world go round.

B L E H

May I tell you, I am so freaking sick of money.  I'm sick of looking for a new job so I can get more hours, so I can work more; make more money; and then save it.  I'm sick of trying to find different avenues of financial aid to pay for ridiculously high-priced college.  I'm sick of figuring numbers, and then re-figuring numbers to try and figure out how much I need to save this summer.  I'm sick of driving by Hy-Vee and groaning as I read the lit red letters that read 3.79 for one gallon of gas.

MY LIFE: has officially become about money.  and I hate it.  Yes, hate.

I'm always thinking about money, and how if I made more money I could do this, or if I had more money then I could do that.  I need to get such and such amount of money to do this etc etc etc...  It goes on and on and on.  And I can just hear the voices now 'well thats just adulthood Sandra, this is part of growing up'

b o l o g n a

Yes I understnad that part of growing up is having bills and a job and learning responsibility.  But its also about living you life, and having new experiences, and doing something stupid because hey, your only twenty once.  Its about falling in love, eating what you shouldn't, staying up late, learning useless things and learning things that really help you, and jumping into fountains in the middle of the night.  Its about growing up and learning how to really live your life.  Money is only a part of it; not what its all about.

My mom has been telling me for over a year now that I need to stop worrying about finances and trust that God will take care of me.  I didn't do it at first, but these past few months I have been.  And you know where its gotten me?  Nowhere.  No where that is, to the naked human eye.  To me; nothing has changed.  I still make minimum wage, I still am only getting little hours at work, I still have un-humanly high bills to pay, and I still pay my tithes to the Lord.  But I'm trusting.  Trusting that he has some plan for me, and some plan for my budget.  Cuz I know that my God is bigger than my wallet, and he's bigger than my paycheck.  He knows, and I don't.  So even though to me, it looks like nothing is happening in my life as I'm trusting; I know that my faith is growing and My God is planning.

So I'm trying to push money out of my mind.  And I'm trying to remember that growing up, isn't about worrying about your money and how to make more.  It's just simply not.