Ponderings . . .

Today I started reading a my old journals.  Some of them really make me laugh because I was so young and weird.  I am very bi-polar in a lot of my journal entries.  Some serious comedy.  I picked out a few of my favorite lines from the ones I read today:

"She can't even spell the word tomarow, what kind of ediot does that?"

"I know I said that he was dumb but I'm like, madly in love with him"

"I just want to blow people's minds!"

"She said, 'Thats not even a coincidence.  That is God telling you guys to get your heads out of your butts and get on and date!'"

"I'm falling for him, I know I am.  Everyday the roots are sinking deeper and deeper into my heart, wrapping themselves around and around.  And I don't know whether to stop it, or to leave it be."


So that's it for todays readings but there will be more to come.  I'm so happy that I decided to keep journals (even though there was slight ribbing from my friends) because even though some of them may be silly and adolecsent, I love being able to go back and read in detail what was going in my life at a certain time.  Your mind is a sive and it lets so many precious moments and memories fall through it.  But by keeping a journal I get to go back to all of those times and relive the moment, and I get to know exactly what was going on in my head and in my heart.  I love it.

In other news...

Mary and I had a wonderful date night last night.  We went to the park, and then sat out in the thunderstorm and got soaking wet.  Then we talked for about five hours straight.  It was some awesome wife time that I desperatly needed.  She has a way of bringing out the truth; even if I am lying to myself about it. 

It brought about a lot a LOT of thoughts that I'm not sure I wanted but I know I needed.  You can't lie to yourself forever you know.  So the sooner you can dig it out of yourself, the sooner you can examine what is really going on inside.

I know a lot of you have been reading my latest blog entries.  And there has been a move of God on my life.  It's kind of slowing now as the enemy is bringing things up to my doorstep and leaving them there.  There is a lot going on my head and heart, and I can't tell if its from God or from satan.  Part of me believes that it may be God's plan, and thats why I'm going through it.  But then the other part of me thinks that it is Satan trying to lure me away from my Lord and his awesome plans that he has for me.  For now I'm at a loss, and my mind is just spinning in circles.